Some people can never believe in themselves, until someone believes in them.
- Good Will Hunting
Brother Jed Visits Eastern Illinois University!
We protested by handing out free condoms and heckling!
“I was a naughty girl… I was so into Roller Disco, by the time I was a sophomore at the University of Florida, I was going every Friday night!”
“I paid to have my mind raped by a university!”
“Titties are not for men to grab, they’re to feed God’s babies!”
“You won’t have children? You’re sterile? Whoring around will do that.”
“Kisses are special, only whores kiss before they’re married.”
“We pray in the same parking lots you all lost your virginity in. I bet you all lost your virginity in the back of a car.”
“You won’t really be a woman until you have a baby.”
“You’re 24? You need to be getting on having babies. You’ll run out of childbearing years before you know it.”
“I don’t see color. I don’t see that you’re a negro. I don’t see that she’s colored. *singing* Jesus loves the little children… red and yellow, black and white…”
“Homosexuals have sex with animals.”
(Upon being told a student was a Life Science Education major) “What is Life Science?”
Student: “Do not judge, lest ye be judged.”
Sister Cindy: “That verse applies to you, not me!”
Brother Jed: “Why do you think Jesus was a liberal?”
Me: “The Gospel.”
Brother Jed: “NO! You’re a socialist, Jesus was a conservative!”
Sister Cindy: “I won’t stop, I haven’t reached the climax yet.”
Me: “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID”
And the absolute greatest thing I heard all afternoon:
Brother Jed: “I don’t sing the it’s not okay to be gay song anymore. I’m trying to work on my homophobia.”